Don't Do It Even If You Have To Do It
by Risa9559
Summary: Is this a dream? Why are you here, Ketsuno-san? If it is a wonderful dream made by me, I don't ever want to wake up. Ouch! Ow ow ow! That hurt!


**Warning: **Very Random, Drabbles (?) Well, it'll be a mix of short story and drabble.

**Disclaimer: **Yeah, no… Just no.

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**Don't Do It Even If You Have To Do It**

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The soft white cloud sluggishly float across the vast blue sky, the cool breeze aid the slothful cotton to crawl slowly on the wide canvas of a sky.

On Earth, a different kind of white fluff is similarly bobbing. The gentle wind lazily shakes the perm to a graceful wave.

The owner to the sea of curls is calmly sleeping, lightly snoring and grunting as he drifts to a deeper state of sleep until a hand reached for his nose and with every mischievous intention, squeezed it hard.

Nothing happened as the sleeping man ignored the slight nasal discomfort and continued to breathe through his mouth; the sound of his snore increased in pitch, creating a soft squeaky screech with every breath he inhaled and exhaled.

Annoyed, another hand reached for the man's mouth whilst the other still tightly squeezed the nose. She started to count…

_1…_

The face scrunched in an extreme discomfort as the air supply was cut short.

_2…_

Keeping his eyes closed, he can feel the nagging urge to breathe in his chest.

_3…_

He can feel the overwhelming need to inhale. His lungs feel as if they are about to burst from the lack of oxygen.

_4…_

The silver perm awakens with a sudden jolt.

The giggling face hovering in his vision is revealed to be none other than Ketsuno Anna, the woman of his dreams, the maiden who stole his heart every time she appeared in the low-definition screen of his out-dated TV.

Chuckling lightly, she said, 'Wake up sleepy head… naptime is over. You still have to hang up the washing.'

In joyful disbelief, Gintoki swivelled his head around, making sure that he had not sleepwalked to the Ketsuno Household.

Nope. He's still on the Yorozuya's veranda, the wooden floorboard solid under his back, the tatami mats to the bedroom still present behind him.

'Um… Ketsuno-san, where did you come from?' Gin asked.

'Aw, Gin-san… wake up already.' She pouted.

'Eh? Gin-san is already up though. Gin-san is 100% up.' He emphasised.

As he scrutinised the woman of his dream thoroughly, he added, 'Little Gin is also getting up it seems.'

Ketsuno Anna's expression instantly changed from the light-hearted, playful crease, into one of irritation and disgust.

'Seriously, Gin-san, wake up. You promised you'd hang the laundry today. I still have to make lunch.'

She moved away to grab a frypan from the kitchen, busying herself as she starts to prepare the ingredients.

Gintoki scratched the back of his head. Now he is thoroughly confused as to why Ketsuno Anna is in his kitchen preparing lunch when he had no memory of accepting a request of play-pretend to be married to her.

Staggering to his feet like a drunk, Gintoki swayed to the kitchen; he is finding it hard to walk over in a balanced manner on the wooden floorboard.

Hugging the busy girl from behind, he whispered close to her ear, 'You'll make a great wife, Ketsuno-san. How about becoming my beautiful bride?'

A mark of annoyance appeared on her forehead.

'Gin-san, if you don't wake up by the count of 3, I'm going to hit you.' She declared.

_One…_

'Eh?! Hold, hold on… I thought most girls would be happy to hear a compliment!'

_Two…_

'I was just trying to compliment you,… no, actually, flatter… I was trying to flatter you-'

_Three…_

'W-wait a second,… what are you doing with that pan!'

_**Thump!**_

'Sorry, Gin-san…' She apologetically whispered as he witnessed her sympathetic smile for the last time.

The floorboard gently bob up and down, the swaying and rocking of the ground reminded Gintoki of a boat as he drifted into unconsciousness….

… _a boat …_

… _BOAT? …_

… _Wait, BOAT? …_

… _Wasn't I in a boat? …_

… _Am I still in a boat? …_

Gintoki opened his eyes to a scene of wreckage. The boat had capsized, upturning the passengers into the sea and some lucky unconscious souls –like him- had peacefully drifted on the floating pieces of wood, waiting for help to arrive.

In an instant, he found his young companions drifting by his side. The moment his questioning gaze connected with Shinpachi, the boy's face had flushed like a beetroot, his gaze averted as soon as possible.

He then turned towards Kagura to inquire as to what happened but her expression turned to one of despise, her scowl deepening and she quickly swivelled her head away, acting as though she had disowned him.

Gintoki is bewildered. He did not know what he had done, or how atrocious an act it was that he had done, or the fact that he had done the said atrocious act towards one of his companions.

He approached the two of them timidly as his curiosity deepened. 'Nee, Shinpachi… what happened? … Um, What did I do?' Gintoki fidgeted.

'Well…' Shinpachi began as the blush spread even wider towards his ears. 'You were asleep.' He mumbled.

'Oh my… oh my…' Kagura closed her eyes as if to relive a bad memory.

'You were sleep-talking.' Shinpachi mumbled his words softly.

'It was shameful –aru'. Piped in Kagura as he accused the silver perm.

'You grabbed my hand.' Shinpachi mumbled his words even softer.

'I didn't remember raising a son like this –aru'. Kagura shakes her head.

'You hugged me'. Shinpachi's blushed turned even redder and his voice even smaller.

'I'm ashamed that you would grow up to be like this –aru'. Sobbed Kagura.

'You proposed to me…' Shinpachi submerged himself under the water as he bubbled the last few words out of embarrassment.

'What will your dad say!?' Kagura wailed.

_SO IT WAS YOU!?_ Gintoki screeched inside. _AND I DON'T REMEMBER BEING BORN TO THE SUKONBU BRAT!_, he added.

And so, this is a normal day following the Yorozuya's where mischief and mayhem intermingle; the warmth of a family can be witnessed through the interaction of the three quirky people who through thick and thin accepted each other for who they are. Their bond is stronger than friends, even stronger than family and even stronger than lovers.

**The End.**

Strawberry Parfait: 'Wait- wait- wait- wait! Why the hell did you end it abruptly!? There are still lots of unanswered questions! Why am I on a capsized boat and what the hell did I do!? Only proposing shouldn't make Shinpachi as red as a tomato! And what was with the forced conclusion at the end!? '

Pocky: 'Well, it's coz I got a Uni assignment to do. Soz.'

Strawberry Parfait: 'Why is the author's speech so modern!? Wait, forget about that for a second. You can't do this! Finish the story properly!'

Pocky: 'No! I hv enuff of procrastinating. I seriously hv to do my assignment due tmoz. *Sigh…* I prob hv to pull an all-nighter.'

Strawberry Parfait: 'No nononononono, you can't leave Gin-san in this shameful situation. Please, Gin-san'll give you 300 yen… so make me look cool. I'm the main character after all.'

Pocky: 'Fine…'

…

And so, the free vacation tickets they had received from the unreliable HAHAHA monster was wasted due to the undetected icebergs. It took awhile for everyone to notice the drop in temperature; the freezing water sapped their strength to hold on to their consciousness. Gintoki gathered his companions, keeping them close to him. They are family and through thick and thin they will stick together even as the darkness claims them. Their bond is stronger than friends, even stronger than family and even stronger than lovers.

**The End**

…

Strawberry Parfait: 'That did explain as to why I was in a boat but OIIIIII, that was too cool! Actually, that was f*cking FREEZING! And why did you ripped off the idea from T*TANIC!? You've just killed off all of your characters, oi!'

Pocky: 'Coz… I told u I wanna do my assignment'.

Strawberry Parfait: 'But you still haven't explained as to what atrocious deed I did and now that I noticed, why is my name 'Strawberry Parfait'!?'

Pocky: 'U kno, it's one of those anonymous forum where u're known by ur username. Y did u think I used modern lingo? Geez, keep up white-haired old man.'

Strawberry Parfait: 'Even though it looks white in the dark, I'll let you know, ok? Gin'san's hair is silver. S-I-L-V-E-R! I'm not an old man! I'm still twenty!'

Pocky: 'Yes, yes… well, enuff of ur rambling. Do u still want an ending or not? I can just leave it like this u kno…'

Strawberry Parfait: 'No! Don't! Give us a proper ending!'

…

'So? What was it that I did?' Gintoki stared the two down for some serious answers, the two lumps that grew as he had hit the two brats for their exaggeration earlier, throbbed on Shinpachi's and Kagura's head painfully.

'You groped Shinpachi –aru.' Kagura muttered.

'You thought I was Ketsuno Anna…' mumbled the Glasses.

'Is that all?' Gintoki raised one eyebrow.

'That's all Gin-san. After that, Kagura woke you up with a piece of wood floating over there.' Remarked Shinpachi.

Gintoki watched the wood calmly floating by, the red stain on one corner of the wood dissolving freely into the deep blue water. He raised a hand towards his head and found it sticky; the blood had dye the white curls red, clotting and matting an area of his hair together.

And so, Gintoki fainted from his blood loss. The proper ending decided by the author had left the main character in shame and had also determined his accidental death through his closest companions.

Well, it is Gintama after all.

Through thick and thin, the characters of Gintama will always provide others with laughter. Their bond is stronger than friends, stronger than family, stronger than lovers and even stronger than death itself.

**The End**

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_Omake_

Sukonbu: 'Gin-san, wake up –aru! Or I'll hit you with the wood plank again!'

Strawberry Parfait: 'I'm up! I'm up! Gin-san has enough of pain, so give me a break. I need to stop the bleeding before you inflict anymore wounds to my head…'

Glasses: 'That's ok Gin-san, it's not blood. That's just tomato sauce. April's Fool!'

Strawberry Parfait: 'Eh…?'

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**A/N: Procrastination is student's enemy, ff's readers' ally.**

**Hi again everyone, I have not forgotten about The Daily Live of Thorny Boys and I will continue it but in this case, I felt like writing about Gintoki so this is the result. And yes, I have yet to start my assignment. Procrastination ftw! I'll manage… I think. **

**In this kind of situation, I really need Kagura to hit me with a plank too.**


End file.
